| (no subject) |
[Apr. 24th, 2005|08:55 am] |
So, again, this post is for Lin.
I had a crazy dream last night, where there were a bunch of cars in my back yard. Lindsay was there, and I showed her mine, but she didn't like it! So we walked aroud a bit, talking about stuff, until she found this one SUV she liked. We hopped in, and she drove around while we had this big long conversation until she said 'It's 5am, and your class is going to start. Shouldn't you go back?' Then we did cause I was going to get fucked by the administration or something, and I went to class. I don't remember anymore... BUT what's weird is she was wearing this:
a long black coat, sort of like a sailor's coat. you see alot of people wearing them these days.
a green shirt, with a maroon scarf
and a hat like Kate's in ESotSM, the gray train conductor's one.
It all matched your hair beautifully. :P
I thought it was neat. |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 1st, 2005|08:46 pm] |
In ever post here, but I guess I will since it's march now!
I bought a truck! A GMC 1994 Sonoma! I'm so excited. It's really low, and it's got a rebuilt engine. MMmmmm. I love it to death. Except, I think my dad scratched the hood pretty bad when he was cleaning off the snow! :-\ I'm really really disappointed about that. Maybe it was only my imagination. I'll go look again. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 26th, 2005|12:46 am] |
| [ | music |
| | a passing feeling -elliott smith | ] |
You know, I like the days of summer where it's like 2 in the morning. I'm chilling at my computer, with the windows open, and all you hear is the sound of crickets and the warm breeze coming through the window.
I really feel like experiencing that right now. Unfortunately, there's about a foot of snow outside, and I have a 'report' to be working on, while studying for midterms. :P Well, it's 12:47. Go me. I'll be up until 4. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 18th, 2005|04:59 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  numb | ] |
| [ | music |
| | o maria - beck | ] |
i have this song i just wrote.
i don't know what words to put to it.
this song is really cool. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 15th, 2005|10:33 pm] |
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This is where LJ gets attacked by millions of posting users, posting after their servers come back up. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 11th, 2005|09:40 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | on fire - michel camilo | ] |
Yet again, I set out to do something and I can't.
So I decided to practice for once. You know, get into shape for Jazz Band. I go downstairs, and I have no range and it sounds weird. I'm like 'Uhh... Wtf.' So I stop playing, get nothing done and play some latin groove on my drumset for a half hour.
Since I was out all of last week, I have a shit load of work for school to make up. Unfortunately, I haven't even looked at any of it.
Driver's School. Permit. Yay. :-)
I need to record this song. When will I have time?
Yay for Jazz Band. Boo for tom sucking.
This weekend I might hang out with Shira at Barnes and Noble.
I fucking love Michel Camilo. Holy Crap, go his piano playing. And Chick Corea. I haven't heard this stuff in a long time, and It's wonderful. I want to be a Michel Camilo piano player. I wish I was that good.
I can't be good at anything to save my life. Not a 100% better than everyone like some people are. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 9th, 2005|06:24 pm] |
It looks like this is all I do anymore.
I AM: Tomislav V. Butkovic
I WANT: figure out what I want to do.
I HAVE: a clean camera.
I WISH: to make my life enjoyable and be happy.
I HATE: homework.
I MISS: my family in Croatia.
I FEAR: college/life.
I HEAR: the dog walking around the house.
I SEARCH: for an existentialist-type deep meaning to life. (knicked this offa jackie. jackie! i <3 you! talk to me. hah.)
I WONDER: about the future.
I REGRET: being a lazy ass.
I LOVE: music and art.
I ACHE:d last week
I ALWAYS: sleep.
I AM NOT: Matt or John.
I DANCE: like an idiot.
I SING: in South Jersey Choir.
I CRY: at night.
I AM NOT ALWAYS: this negative.
I WRITE: sparringly
I CONFUSE: myself.
I SHOULD: figure out what's wrong with me and fix it.
I forget what else I was going to say in this entry.
Uhh. I got my camera cleaned and I want to shoot more photos, but there's nothing to shoot in walking distance. I don't have any friend that would shoot with me or for me. I need to figure out why my life sucks so much.
This is an empty period in my teenage years. Everything I do seems to be for nothing. That is, if I do something. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 6th, 2005|07:46 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | sad/sick | ] |
| [ | music |
| | waltz #1 - elliott smith | ] |
two of my teacher called me to see how i was doing today.
it made me really sad.
i want to be part of team zissou, and meet elliott smith.
:-(
i'm so fucked up this week. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 6th, 2005|06:52 am] |
I'm so fucking dying.
I've been home for the past three days, and I've been feeling like shit every single day, in a different. I don't remember how I felt yesterday, but today My sinuses hurt like a mother, i can't breathe through my nose which keeps running like a fucking faucet, I can't really swallow, and when I sneeze, it feels like my lungs are tearing themselves apart. I'm on antibiotics and other shit, but I don't think it's helping. I can't sleep.
Way to start off 2005.
Maybe I'll post some photos of 2004, but they won't be nearly as good as erin's. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 5th, 2005|10:05 am] |
Happy Birthday to Erin!
Don't do anything stupid :-) :-P |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 3rd, 2005|12:47 am] |
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No. Stop. Go back and finish it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 27th, 2004|07:09 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | numb | ] |
| [ | music |
| | cygnus... vismund cygnus - the mars volta | ] |
So I guess I'll be like everyone else.
There's never anything positive in my journal.
Maybe in the past, but not anymore.
Christmas this year wasn't that great... I don't remember what I really wanted to write in here. Maybe I'll just go along and babble. No one reads this anyway.
Christmas sucked. There wasn't the excitement that usually flows around the house during christmas. Yes, my whole fucking family was here... (except my brother Zoran, he's never been to the United States... fucking IRS or whoever they are. They should be sent to hell. Mother Fuckers.)
Anyway, It wasn't really about the presents. My brother got me a nice 16 channel mixer for my studio (he's fucking awesome, but i fucking hate him. but he's not awesome because he got me a $300 gift. He's just awesome, but i fucking hate him. Yeah. It's weird like that. Maybe I'll tell you one day.) My mom got me a bag for my photo equipt, and a yamaha keyboard for my studio. It's out of tune with itself though. I was pretty pissed about that. I don't know if I can return it. Finally, my other brother (including his wife, and my sister, and her husband) got me a hard drive for my computer.
Yeah, I was sorta dissappointed at my rich bro and sis who just got me a Hard Drive and were like 'That's what you wanted. Here you go.' He's jewish. Lol. The way that they delivered it was the thing that bothered me.
Whatever. You know what, this is driving me crazy. I'm going to stop talking. I can't freely express what I want to say with anyone except myself.
Rushmore is a really sad movie.
I don't have friends. I've been sitting in my house wasting my vacation. I was going to hang out with Skeeter, but he's out somewhere all of the time. If I locked myself in my house and stopped communicating with anyone. I'm 100% sure that no one would call me for atleast a week.
I have no will to write any music.
What the fuck is wrong with me. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 27th, 2004|12:21 pm] |
I haven't spoken to anyone in forever from lj, tell me what's going on.
What's going on?
I saw 'The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou' It was great, but not as good as other Anderson movies. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 19th, 2004|10:10 pm] |
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Post anything that you want, and post it anonymously. Anything. A story, a secret, a confession, a fear, a love -- anything. Be sure to post anonymously and honestly. Post twice if you'd like. Then, put this in your LJ to see what your friends (and perhaps others who you don't even realize read your LJ) have to say. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 14th, 2004|02:11 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | green eyes - fourth avenue | ] |
Looks like surf's a go!
Surf's Up!
13 days!
http://jerseysurf.org
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 11th, 2004|07:03 am] |
| [ | music |
| | green eyes - fourth avenue | ] |
ok.
so i'm at school. as always i never want to be here.
i'm just going to be really depressing in this post.
i'm lazy and i have no purpose. yes.
i never have any motivation to do well in school. even when i fuck up and realize what i've done. there's no drive to correct my mistakes in the future. with a mediocre record in high school like i currently have, i probably won't get into any kind of college. but what college am i going to go to? for what?
i don't love anything that i'll be able to do forever.
i like listening/playing music on trombone. but i don't have any drive to practice those little annoying things to make me better. i have no drive to learn.
i like recording stuff that i've been doing lately and playing guitar and random stuff like a great musician of mine, elliott smith. i don't think i'll be able to pursue something so great. it's just a dream, i'll get sick and tired of it in a year or two probably.
i thought about theatre, but now with dan gone, that's not fun either. i just get on stage and do my thing, but it's just half assed, because i never had the drive of working on anything. i could do much more, but i can't.
there's nothing i love doing.
parents can also get annoying. sometimes i wish i could just live on my own and make my own decisions.
i really wanted to do the jersey surf drum and bugle corps, but i might not be able too. me being me, i never really checked with my parents. i like working alone and making my own choices which is what i've been doing for the past several years for the most part. my parents don't really know me all that well i guess.
i really don't know what to say. i don't think i ever do.
i'm just going to continue hanging out with skeeter and recording stuff. he's really the only person i can just hang out with now. john's with his girlfriend, kris is after girls. all my other friends are busy with lives.
yeah. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 8th, 2004|12:18 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | king's crossing - elliott smith | ] |
ok. so i guess i'll write in here. no one reads though. only say lindsay, when she's not busy with school.
i don't think it matters though.
lets start off at the beginning.
i haven't been in school since tuesday. heh. it feels pretty nice.
wensday we went to rutgers to see 'nunsence' done by some people in their theatre program. i didn't find it that great, it was a bit amusing though.
had thursday and friday off.
i don't really remember what i did, but i had marching band rehearsal on friday.
my mixer died too. i think the power supply went. if anyone wants to help me, i'll give you a full description of what happened. did everyone here see my mixer? http://error599.net/tomislav/m1.jpg
yeah. skeeter and i have been hanging out alot. i guess you could say alot. he's the only person i've been hanging out with. everyone else has kind of been floating away or maybe i'm just busy/lazy.
they gave me a fucking accoustic guitar! how fucking awesome! skeeter's dad bought it for his wife (skeet's mom) when they started going out... in 1975. :P it's an epiphone, but who cares! i love it. it's right next to me. they're so fricken nice.
football game on saturday, and practice. we went bowling. i didn't really do anything it was boring.
sunday was marching band all-states championships. we thought we did fricken awesome, but we got 5th with like an 89.1 or something. it was really gay because mr height really thought we beat last year's score with 90.45. drumline got first place though with a 19.4 out of 20. that's fucking amazing. go them. i wish i could celebrate, but everything else dissapoints me. because of that i'm home from school today. the drive from allentown was about 3 hours and we got home at midnight. we had late entry, but i just said 'fuck it.' and stayed home. my parents are probably going to be angry. i guess i just really don't care.
we stole another sign (jim and i) like the one we stole last year that says 'Stores for Rent' which is like 4ft x 4ft. it wasn't to exciting this year though i guess because we did it once already, and i don't know. this marching band season just wasn't as fun as it was before. it went by fast, it was kind of flat, and i was bored. i don't know what it is. this whole school year kinda sucks and isn't fun.
i'm still listening to elliott smith. i just love him. it's so amazing this music. i guess i'm just crazy. i really like the piano in 'king's crossing' that's layered with tons of reverb and stuff in the background.
i watched some royal tenenbaums today. i haven't seen the royal tenenbaums in a while. it's really depressing when i watch it. i never was really depressed when watching it.
i want it to be snowing outside. i want to stay home and have about 2 feet of snow and the sun shining. no school and just have my dad home.
i quit. |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 3rd, 2004|02:28 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | a distorted reality is now a necessity to be free - elliott | ] |
Today is a sad day for the United States and the rest of the world.
Welcome to the dark ages. |
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